First Documented iPhone Injury Leaves Man With Huge Back Ache
Remember all those horrific injury stories we heard when the Nintendo Wii first began arriving in homes, with flying Wii remotes carving a path of devastation and injury to humans and their canine friends? Apparently iPhone is next product in line to join the proud pantheon of killer consumer devices.
Travis Gohr learned a valuable lesson while excercising - treadmills and iPhones don't mix. He chronicles the sad sequences of events that led to his folly.
Or, how to kill yourself with an iPhone. Step 1. Purchase an iPhone. I'd recommend the more valuable one as that will make you more willing to risk life for it. Step 2. Gain access to a treadmill. Step 3. Use said iPhone while using treadmill. Step 4. When your iPhone magically slides off the stand, hits the treadmill and rockets off behind you, make SURE to follow it's trajectory with your head, not just your eyes. Step 5. If you've completed step 4 correctly you should now be facing sideways on the treadmill instead of forward. Your head should also be cranked completely around behind you. The position of your body will lead to you being completely off balance. Let the treadmill do the rest. Step 6. Your feet should fly out from under you and if your head is still facing backwards you should land flat on your back on the treadmill. It will then proceed to rocket you backwards. Step 7. This is of UTMOST importance. You will only stay airborne for a quick second and when you come down, the back of the treadmill will strike somewhere on your body. Make SURE it hits you DIRECTLY in the spine. Step 8. You should now have a broken spine. If not, repeat. Or, you might just end up blogging about how you ended up with a wicked pressure burst on your back.
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