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Not evil twin to Phone Different Week in Review, not an invasion by Fake Steve, This Week in Smart Phone Schadenfreude brings you all the feel-better news you need about the smartphone world outside Apple's current media dominator. (Who knew there was such a world? We were just as surprised! Inelegant, interface challenged, keyboardy, crashy, single-touchy place -- best not to linger...). Join us as we mock review the big news from last week at our sister sites. Everybody loves sibling rivalry!

Take this with a grain of salt roughly the size of a tanker truck, but Palluxo is claiming that Apple is in talks to license Immersion's haptic feedback technology for the iPhone:

Remember that glossy, all black 3G iPhone that's been out in the wild? Well turns out..not quite. According to Gizmodo, the picture that's been making way all over the interweb has been reported to be just a case made available over in Hong Kong. Though Engadget's sources had pointed toward an all-black exterior (with chrome buttons. ugh.) and the 'leaked' picture seemed to corroborate with that report, it looks like the 3G iPhone still hasn't been seen.

John Gruber and the Macalope have made an artful science out of reasonably, logically, and methodically skewering the most pathetic punditry and junky journalism surrounding Apple and the iPhone.

Case in point is Gruber's recent and rather succinct dismantling of Simon Brocklehurst's complaint that Apple chose Objective C as the language behind the SDK. And while he certainly doesn't need my help, there are a few points I'd like to add.

Fear not Rene, it looks like a legit iPhone (not that other thing) is finally coming in all its glory to our neighbors to the north. According to their sources, The Star is reporting that an iPhone deal between Rogers and Apple is close to being done and that it may change the landscape of Canadian Telcos. We won’t even mention the fact that an iPhone in RIM’s playground would add yet another layer to an immensely entertaining battle between RIM and Apple..

Friday at The iPhone Blog means two things - free wallpaper and Kent isn't wearing pants. Fortunately you only have to see the wallpaper. Behold and download after the break.

Every week I will be bringing you what I think are the week’s biggest stories and articles. Here we go!

So just how many countries are going to get the next iPhone anyway?

India seems to be the newest member of “What country is getting the iPhone next”. It seems like a new pops up every day. Who is the newest member? India.

Flash and Silverlight make Safari crash?

You need Safari for this? Just kidding.

Chad brought us a look at the rumored back-in-black iPhone 3G a while ago, and now Engadget claims to have some confirmation!

Daring Fireball, via Digital Arts, brings word that Sun hasn't stopped trying to bring a Java Virtual Machine (JVM) to the iPhone even though:

Apple has not been publicly receptive to having Java on its popular new device. There have been questions about whether Apple's iPhone SDK agreement would permit this. The JVM potentially could sidestep Apple's App Store program for dispensing iPhone applications.

And while Sun's efforts continue, they're also hedging their bets with Innaworks, who produces alcheMo, which may let Java programs compile as native iPhone apps, ready for App Store:

It's morning; the dull Canadian sun seeps in through the blinds and the alarm sounds on my iPhone. I flip over, swipe to silence, grab the phone from off the side table, and quickly check my email for anything urgent. The weather widget shows clear skies, Twitter is abuzz with the latest SDK updates, and PhoneDifferent.com tells me Apple made a bit of money this year. Closing the browser, I flip on a podcast for some easy-learning and try to decide whether the day needs facing.

Sounds pretty normal, right? Actually, it's still pretty revolutionary, really. One device to rule them all, as the meme goes. The iPhone. Apple’s gift to the mobile world. And something that, as a Canadian, I can't legitimately own or use.

Biggest NAFTA- and Free Trade-powered partner, friendliest borders in the world, and seemingly endless source of hot singers and gifted comedians, and while we Canadians can buy every other bit of gear Apple produces, we get absolutely no iPhone love.

Why is that exactly? Read on.