Dell dude says only they can offer imaginary, over priced technology to Enterprise

Dell dude says only they can offer imaginary, over priced technology to Enterprise

Andy Lark, global head of marketing for Dell -- and we assume the dude who used to tell dudes they were getting Dells, dude? -- decided to talk a little Apple and iPad 2 at CIO Australia. We'd make fun of what he said but unfortunately he beat us to it:

“Apple is great if you’ve got a lot of money and live on an island. It’s not so great if you have to exist in a diverse, open, connected enterprise; simple things become quite complex.”

“An iPad with a keyboard, a mouse and a case [means] you’ll be at $1500 or $1600; that’s double of what you’re paying," he claimed. "That’s not feasible.”

Wait, what?! Not to get all Macalope on the dude, but let me break out my abacus app and double check that. In Australian dollars, iPad 16GB is $579, BT keyboard is $99, mouse is $0 (no mice for iPad, genius), smart cover is $45... carry the yellow bead... and thats $723. If we bump iPad 2 to the highest end and wrap it it leather, it's still only $1127.

Easy to see where Lark went wrong. I've owned cheap plastic Dells. They cracked and broke and burnt out so much faster than Apple hardware he probably thinks you'll have to replace your iPad two or three times a year just like he does his hackintoshed Mini. Not so good Lark. (And if one does have a problem the Apple Store will typically swap it out, no need to stay on hold for 97 hours with what simply has to be a robotic customer service center drone on Lost Island that still can't pass the Turing test. Dude.)

UPDATE: Looks like Microsoft global research and strategy officer, Craig Mundie got a peak at the same talking points, telling the Committee for Economic Development of Australia that he wasn't sure iPads would remain with us or not.

Whatever could Dell and Microsoft be afraid of, besides not having a single off one of the hottest growing s [CIO, thanks to Lark for the chance to snark!]

Rene Ritchie

Editor-in-Chief of iMore, co-host of Iterate, Debug, Review, The TV Show, Vector, ZEN & TECH, and MacBreak Weekly podcasts. Cook, grappler, photon wrangler. Follow him on Twitter and Google+.

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There are 68 comments. Add yours.

Dood says:

Irrelevant people saying irrelevant things to gain relevance.
And circle gets the square.

marktaylor#AC says:

Why are you calling Rene irrelevant? He must defend Apple at any cost!

Dood says:

While that's LOL-worthy I think we can agree that Andy Lark's opinion on anything is about as useful as broken elevator.

Carioca32 says:

Yeah, they are the only ones who speak in hyperboles. Bad Dell, bad, for telling lies about this revolutionary and magical device that changed everything, again, and got everybody flummoxed.

fastlane says:

"Easy to see where Lark went wrong..."

Yeah, he went wrong working for Dell.
I've never owned a Dell, or any other Windows machine. I've had Macs since '87 and I don't live on an island.. and have made a fantastic living with them.
Poor, ignorant baztard. :lol:

laila says:

True, Dell has always done it. For latest on iPhone 4 and iPad2 join www.faceboob.com/ene ws plus . Thanks

RRP Video says:

There are many things that cannot be done on Mac's even if I really had to. Having said that, there are things that even if using RDP on iPad are very difficult. They work in a pinch but do have their limits.
I'll stick with my iPad and HP notebook.
(As far as the things that cannot be done on a Mac. Here's a clue, XR, MM, MK, AMS, AME, SB).

Dood says:

You mean Cairo? Who cares about Cairo! Ha.

fastlane says:

I was hired at a company once, and the pay was great. I quit the second day because they put me on Windows. A person can only put up with so much.

jasondeno says:

If you can't do things with an iPad, then why are you carrying one? Caloric burn from the added weight whilst walking?

OrionAntares#CB says:

@RRP Video "I’ll stick with my iPad and HP notebook"
You could go a slightly different route. Pick up an HP tm2t with a Core i3/5 processor and you have an ultralight notebook with the optional connivance of a tablet at times you would prefer it.

Scooba says:

Dude, let's be fair - he was probably talking about Australian dollars and prices, but he's still way off. According to Apple's Australian site, the high-end iPad 2 is $949, leather smart case is $79, bluetooth keyboard is $99. Through in an Apple wireless mouse (which really is unnecessary) for another $99 and the total is $1226. So he's still off by about 20 percent.

Carioca32 says:

Ah, but how much costs a Dell mouse and a Dell keyboard in Australia? For $169 you can buy a Logitech M950 mouse, and for $129 you can buy a Alienware keyboard, both at Dell Australia. So its $949 + $79 + $169 + $129 = $1326, if you add shipping and handling that's about the same ball park. It's all a justification exercise, of couse.

OrionAntares#CB says:

Don't forget the cost of that backend system you have to RDP into with your iPad to get any real work done. Also the cell connection if you're not on WiFi.

Baron says:

I've owned a cheap £200 dell laptop and it still works perfectly well 2 years on. Throw it around all the time, great for presentations and the like.
Whilst you may not like his views its a bit harsh to go on a unfounded rant.

robertpetry says:

You are so right. All opinions are valid. I will go buy the $400 mouse to use with my iPad right now. Are they at Best Buy?

Rene Ritchie says:

My last Dell began to smoke from the inside and after calling customer support I was told it was a bio hazard and to seal it in a bag and wait for someone to come and retrieve it (no joke). I owned 4 Dells before getting a MacBook Pro a few years ago and they all cracked, broke down, and otherwise needed to be fixed with alarming frequency and without the benefit of a Dell Store to take them to.

FrostByte says:

I've been a Dell a user for years, I'm still sporting my Lat D620. For the most part my machines both personal and business are relatively problem free. But when something does go wrong you have run the gauntlet to get anything done. Between Dell & Rogers it's something I've become exceedingly good at (I've been told Dell & Rogers Corporate have a warning on my profile)
I've only had a few issues with my Apple devices and every time i called or visited the store they were quick to resolve my issue to my satisfaction.

excaliburca says:

So just because you had a bad experience, everyone will? I've owned Dells exclusively since 2006 and have no problems with them. Try to be a little more objective.

Dood says:

What sucks? The response or Rene's unparalleled ability to make freakishly opinionated posts over his abused equipment?
Want to get into the "cracking" and problems with hardware? I defy you to find an iPhone 3G owner that's had their phone for more than 2 months, that doesn't have cracking around the headphone jack on the casing. Look for it.

Dood says:

Rene, not to be the voice of reason here or anything, but do you see a common factor in your problems with Dell? Maybe its...YOU.

Tom says:

Bio Hazard lol .. now that's a serious joke or the person who told you it was a Bio Hazard was a Joker.

OrionAntares#CB says:

Eh, depending when it happened I could see that happening. Don't forget electronic components do have toxic materials in them, especially older ones. If those materials are "vaporized" and breathed in that could be an issue, plus Canada probably has stricter guidelines for that than the US.

OrionAntares#CB says:

My iTouch crashes at least once a day and lags if I try to do anything mildly processor "intensive" on it.
Clearly all Apple products are unstable and laggy.

Reneritchie isabaggadouche says:

Rene Ritchie, You have to be one of the biggest jokes on the smartphone experts. All you ever write is fanboy BS trollbait, get to writing things that are actually helpful. You are not funny, nor do you seem intelligent. You make all of us iPhone lovers look bad.

Menow says:

One of the best headlines in months. Keep the interpretative style!

Jimbo says:

Is it really so hard to account for the local currency, price, and tax rates, Rene? For $DEITY sake, the name of the country is in the magazine title. You can break out your snark and your abacus, but this ill-informed "dude" is a hell of a lot closer to the truth than you are.

JPSAL says:

With $1600 you can buy a badass 15" MacBook Pro...

adaisguy says:

The aussie dollar is worth more than the US dollar (0.97 US = 1 A$)

Scooba says:

It's the other way around: $1 US = $0.97 Australian. One Australian dollar might cost more than one U.S. dollar, but it buys less due to higher prices in Australia. An iPad 2 (wifi only, 16GB) costs US$499 (A$484) in the United States, but you'd have to pay A$579 (US$596) for one in Australia.

DLprac says:

You are confused. You do realize that if your numbers are correct, then the US dollar is worth more?

noaim says:

what you fail to mention is a dell laptop will do ten times more then a ipad will ever do

sting7k says:

I've never owned a computer that just broke and started to fall apart. I have only ever owned Dell's and gotten nothing but good service from them. I have 3 right now, one is 8 years old and running XP just fine.

Pimp Lucious says:

I have had two apple products that just stopped working relatively early in their expected lifespans.

csimpkins says:

I had more problems with my iPhone 3G (and my wife's) than any device I've ever owned. I can still honestly say my iPhone (3G and now 4) is the BEST device I've ever owned.
I can also say Dell makes a fine computer. My work (an IT provider) supplies a ton of them to clients, I've owned them and friends own them. They're great. If they weren't, Dell wouldn't be the second largest PC vendor in the world.
People will have problems with anything. That's the nature of modern electronics. To bite back at this Dell guy by blasting their products based on your measurably uncommon experience is to sink to their level. Or worse, really, since you personally have little investment in Apple. In other words - your fanboy flag is flying and you're only doing yourself a disservice.
What's the point in an editorial like this? Who cares what Dell guy says?

Joebin says:

5 of us in the office got new Dell desktops in the past 2 years. One won't rip cd's. The 2 that just upgraded to Windows 7 are torturing my coworkers because they are painfully slow. And my dear Dell likes to BSOD during simple tasks (on XP). It came to the point that I refused to work on it for video editing and brought my 4 year old MacBook from home to "gitrdone" and keep my sanity. Now that I was granted a new 15" MPB i7, tech life in the office is bliss and my Dell will collect dust until IT gives it to some poor chap who needs an "newer" machine.

Dave says:

@sting7k, you're right on here. I've been using Dell products in the Enterprise for over 10 years and when there is a fault Dell have an engineer on site within a couple of hours. HP are the same, and the open, modular architecture means that they can send you the part and you can swap it out yourself if need be. That's absolutely not possible with my MacBook Pro, or any Apple product as they do not allow it.
Lark is right on the money here as well, Apple has no real place in the Enterprise either. I have a MBP for work as well (only because out tech director is the type of person that gives Apple products a bad name, total Mactard) and I cannot do my job without also running VMware fusion with Windows 7. Even Apple are pulling out of the server market because there's no place for them. The XServer is positively out of date and over priced for what you get.
I love my MBP at home but people need to be realistic.

Silvio says:

DELL SUCKS!!! End of story!

Dood says:

A lot of people purchase their products and are quite happy with them. So, story still on going, dweeb.

RRP Video says:

I do not like Dell computers nor have I ever. I've always had success with HP and Compaq.

Glenn#IM says:

I have gotten the blue screen of death several times with a Dell. My son had a Dell crash after a windows update to service pk 3. He swears the Dell repair blamed the sp3 install. He bought a Mac because he got tied of problems. Dells will shut down, blue scene of death, if 53% of the hard drive is used. Mac will hold more pictures, and multi media. Dells are cheaper in price. Apple tends to be higher. The MacBook sir with the 13" screen is $1500.00. You might as well go for a pro, and get more. I think Dell, and others are realizing the iPad, and similar products if made right, could replace the laptop. I guess it depends on your needs, and money on hand.

Glenn#IM says:

I have gotten the blue screen of death several times with a Dell. My son had a Dell crash after a windows update to service pk 3. He swears the Dell repair blamed the sp3 install. He bought a Mac because he got tied of problems. Dells will shut down, blue scene of death, if 53% of the hard drive is used. Mac will hold more pictures, and multi media. Dells are cheaper in price. Apple tends to be higher. The MacBook air with the 13" screen is $1500.00. You might as well go for a pro, and get more. I think Dell, and others are realizing the iPad, and similar products if made right, could replace the laptop. I guess it depends on your needs, and money on hand.

Dood says:

Sound like Windows issues, and not Dell issues.
"Mac will hold more pictures, and multi media" - Are you kidding me with this? Is this the type of knowledge level you're working with, and you expect people to take your opinion seriously?

Glenn#IM says:

Just an opinion, and nothing more. There is good in both products. All I am saying, when friends switch from Dell to Apple products, they have less problems.

Dood says:

No, what you said was Macs store more pictures and multi-media. And that's hilarious.

Tom says:

lol Mac's will hold more pics ..
this is the funnest dumb comment i have ever read.

Glenn#IM says:

Thanks for pointing out the fact that I make dumb statements. Let me restate. What little photos, and multi media a Mac will hold, it will do it with less problems. Fill up your Dell hard drive to just over 53%, and enjoy the blue screen.

Tom says:

One more of your coolest dumb statement lol .. so now if you fill up your HDD more than 53% it give you an error on Dell's
Thanks for cheering up a dull day :P

Glenn#IM says:

No problems. Trying to cheer others up is a goal. May be I should stick to guitar playing. At least I know about that, I think.

Glenn#IM says:

Well there is an Apple glitch. I only posted once. Funny

SockRolid says:

What he said: ..."if you have to exist in a diverse, open, connected enterprise; simple things become quite complex."
What he meant: "Corporate IT likes things complex because if things were simple we could fire most of them."
The corporate IT departments of the world are afraid of change because change could do two things to them. 1. It could simplify system administration, which would eliminate many IT jobs. And 2. it could require the remaining IT people (and all the employees who use the new technology) to be re-trained, which costs money.

Tom says:

You are just so wrong here .. we have about 50% of macs and PC in our office and its a pain to support Mac's.

Joe says:

True cost of iPad onwership is closer to $275,730. $500 iPad, $70 keyboard, $40 case, $120 desk to lay it upon when not in use, $275,000 for office structure to protect said desk from elements.

Tom says:

So who pays the Tax on the ipad

SockRolid says:

Hey Lark - tip for you in the future. Never make public statements that only Apple fans will quote. We will quote you ad nauseam when you say ridiculous and embarrassing things. Wintel fans will simply pretend they don't know you.

Crunch says:

Hey ****-heads, it wasn't Rene who was spewing bullsh** about the true cost of the iPad. As far as I'm concerned, Dell (and the Dude) are fair game here.
And grow a sense of humor.

jimbo says:

Thank you for explaining what is and is not allowed.

roseventyfour says:

actually when you call Dell you will get someone in India speaking broken english calling themselves Tom.

John says:

Not that I disagree per se but it does not look quite as outrageous when you see the contry he was speaking from. In Australia Apple charge a premium for their stuff - why - because they can. The iop-'o-the-line is $949. Add to that your peripherals and you get way over %1.000, but still not $1.500. To be fair I would expect some decent inout options for over $1,000.

Winski says:

At the assembler of parts HQ (Round Rock) that has now turned into the last castle of retreat for this shrinking clown show called Dell, every once in a while they'll actually shoot someone full of green-glow Nokiasoft Jamba-like juice and send him out on a worldwide tour to pump up the troops and anyone else that's got a spare 15 minutes.
Seems lately that the Jamba-Like juice isn't working so well.. Not for the parts aggregator called Dell or the bubble dwellers in Redmond, now part of the new Nokiasoft team that won't deliver ANY product for another year.... they are really starting to stink up the neighborhood...

John says:

I love it when guys like Dell and Microsoft make crazy statements like that. I usually write them down so I can dig them back up and laugh later. Balmer is the best at that. On a related note, Microsoft just said that the iPad may be just a fad: http://www.appleinsider.com/articles/11/03/30/microsoftexecsaystabletslikeapplesipadmaybejusta_fad.html

C.J. says:

Mac is like an iPod with more features. How can you do real work with a Mac?

Factoid says:

ignorance cracks me up...
"Andy himself pinged us to reveal that pricing in the article was actually referring to New Zealand dollars, but confessed that it never cited as such. NZ$1600 rolls down to around $1219, so it starts to make a lot more sense there. This also included basic adapters and such that'd be necessary to make an iPad do fairly basic tasks, like output video and interface with a limited selection of USB peripherals."

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