iPhone Murder: ZOMG No! Take Dieter Instead!

Cheesy over-branding aside, you gotta be kidding me. That iPhone was clearly drugged first, then tied up. Try that with a fresh, free iPhone, and it would've dodged those we-know-what-they're-overcompensating-for rifle bullets with Matrix-like moves that would have had Neo saying "Whoa!" Then it would be BOOM! Silver-bezel roshambo kick, faux-"hunter" goes down, and POW! multi-touch ground-and-pound! (The iPhone don't need no stinkin' guns!)

Remember, kids: Guns can't kill iPhones. But vidtards with guns can kill our childlike sense of wonder.

(No iPhones -- or iPhone Blog Editors -- were harmed in the typing of the post)

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Rene Ritchie

EiC of iMore, EP of Mobile Nations, Apple analyst, co-host of Debug, Iterate, Vector, Review, and MacBreak Weekly podcasts. Cook, grappler, photon wrangler. Follow him on Twitter and Google+.

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Reader comments

iPhone Murder: ZOMG No! Take Dieter Instead!


Good grief, he should spend more time at the range or put a scope on that thing. I don't know which is worse -- the end result, or the slow, painful way that iPhone died from such sloppy shooting. Cruel and unusual punishment at best. If I ever faced a firing squad, for the love of all that's holy, please keep that guy off the firing line.