News

Apple reveals to FDA it has a moral obligation to enter the wearables market

News

Steve Jobs named the most transformitive business leader of the last 25 years

Movies & TV

Leonardo DiCaprio and Danny Boyle latest star and director rumored for Aaron Sorkin Steve Jobs movie

Links

Don Melton shares memories of Steve Jobs

News

Old Steve Jobs email brainstorms logical next-steps for Apple TV including apps, 'magic wand' controller

Accessories

Withings Bluetooth-equipped Blood Pressure Monitor now available

Accessories

Fund This: Tao WellShell connected exercise device

iPhone

Apple engineer Greg Christie recounts the first iPhone development process

News

Christian Bale allegedly favored by David Fincher to play Steve Jobs in the Aaron Sorkin-penned biopic. And so...?

Featured

Haunted Empire review: It's the book about Apple after Steve Jobs that's the real horror story

Featured Video

iMore show 391: Apple fanboys

Apps

The Loop Magazine shares memories of Steve Jobs

News

Steve Jobs to get a US postage stamp in 2015

Movies & TV

Understanding Apple: When reporting doesn't seem to lead to insight

News

Steve Jobs wanted you to have a Sony VAIO running OS X

News

iOS 8 codenamed Okemo, may include HealthBook, focus on fitness, tie iPhone 6 to iWatch

News

Apple meeting with US FDA to discuss mobile health technologies

Links

The better Steve Jobs movie gets one script closer to being made!

Accessories

Bluetooth-enabled H20-Pal makes sure you get enough water each day at #CESlive

Links

Getting Steve Jobs to dance

Steve Jobs Not Dead! (But Might Kill Bloomberg News...)

Wow. Anyone remember what Steve Jobs did to the New York Times when they merely inquired about his health? Imagine what he'll do to those poor fools at Bloomberg's who just accidentally published -- and then rapidly retracted -- his obituary. (Our guess? 9-finger Wu-Shi death touch, minimum).

According to Gawker, the obit-fart:

...contains nothing to indicate Bloomberg has new information on Jobs's health, at least in our quick skim.

Real Dan (the artist formerly known as Fake Steve), offers perhaps a more appropriate take on both the incident and its reporting:

Luckily, Gawker decided to humiliate Bloomberg by publishing the entire obit, including the list of people that Bloombots should call if/when Dear Leader actually does die, which I’m still not sure he ever will, because as far as I can recall from all that Greek and Latin I took in high school a man-god born of Zeus and mortal woman should be an immortal being, and furthermore, how would Apple PR handle it? I suppose for a while they could just stonewall by saying they weren’t here today to talk about Steve, they were here to talk about how excited everyone is about [FILL IN NAME OF NEW PRODUCT HERE] and maybe they could buy themselves a year or two during which the Apple faithful would continue to believe Steve was really alive despite having seen reports to the contrary on the news.

Strangely, we can't seem to determine whose filthy hackery is the most fake these days...

Rene Ritchie

Editor-in-Chief of iMore, co-host of Iterate, Debug, Review, The TV Show, Vector, ZEN & TECH, and MacBreak Weekly podcasts. Cook, grappler, photon wrangler. Follow him on Twitter and Google+.

More Posts

 

0
loading...
0
loading...
0
loading...
0
loading...

← Previously

Sugarsync App for iPhone out

Next up →

"Murderdrome" Comic Banned From App Store. Duh...

There are 3 comments. Add yours.

Greg Goodrich says:

I thought that the plate in my head was tingling, i call bs. It is really strange how my plate acts up when reading garbage like this. Sometimes i start to scream in agony.

Greg Goodrich says:

I thought that the metal plate in my head was tingling, i call bs. It is really strange how my metal plate acts up when reading garbage like this. Sometimes i start to scream in agony.