News

Strange notifications from your BBC News app? Don't worry, here's what's going on

News

The Daily Show takes on Google Glass: 'Do you hear what you're saying?'

News

Steve Jobs named the most transformitive business leader of the last 25 years

Leonardo DiCaprio and Danny Boyle latest star and director rumored for Aaron Sorkin Steve Jobs movie

Links

Don Melton shares memories of Steve Jobs

News

Old Steve Jobs email brainstorms logical next-steps for Apple TV including apps, 'magic wand' controller

iPhone

Apple engineer Greg Christie recounts the first iPhone development process

News

Christian Bale allegedly favored by David Fincher to play Steve Jobs in the Aaron Sorkin-penned biopic. And so...?

Haunted Empire review: It's the book about Apple after Steve Jobs that's the real horror story

iMore show 391: Apple fanboys

Apps

The Loop Magazine shares memories of Steve Jobs

Seinfeld on smartphones and texting: 'I could have called you and I chose not to.'

News

Steve Jobs to get a US postage stamp in 2015

Understanding Apple: When reporting doesn't seem to lead to insight

News

Steve Jobs wanted you to have a Sony VAIO running OS X

Links

The better Steve Jobs movie gets one script closer to being made!

Links

Getting Steve Jobs to dance

News

Eddy Cue accepts Bay Area entrepreneur award on behalf of Steve Jobs

Siri turns up in The Simpsons causing trouble, how's it working for you?

Links

Steve Jobs: You have to start with the customer experience and work backwards to the technology

< >

Steve Jobs' New Year's resolutions found on Starbucks napkin [Humor]

Scoopertino, a website that is devoted to fake Apple news, "got their hands on" a very top-secret Apple document - Steve Jobs' New Year's resolutions.

The napkin is standard-issue Starbucks beige. Written in what appears to be a thin Sharpie, black, are ten numbered resolutions. It cannot be determined if they are in ascending or descending order of importance. Three mug stains appear to be random.

  1. Keep the Verizon myth going
  2. More crank calls to Zuckerberg
  3. Trademark "Steve" - sue Ballmer's ass
  4. Fire Schiller if he FaceTime's me nude again
  5. Reject more apps, just for fun
  6. Change phone number, don't give to Woz
  7. Double Mossberg's payola
  8. Fire someone on their birthday
  9. Upgrade to iPhone 4 when antenna gets fixed.
  10. Shut down scoopertino - ain't funny

Now, I know this is all for laughs, but I can't help but think that resolution #3 holds some truth!

[Scoopertino via macstories]

Leanna Lofte

Former app and photography editor at iMore, Leanna has since moved on to other endeavors. Mother, wife, mathamagician, even though she no longer writes for iMore you can still follow her on Twitter @llofte.

More Posts

 

0
loading...
0
loading...
0
loading...
0
loading...

← Previously

UPDATED: What happened to iFixDirect and their white iPhone 4 conversion service?

Next up →

Add a physical joystick to your iPad with the Fling joystick

Reader comments

Steve Jobs' New Year's resolutions found on Starbucks napkin [Humor]

13 Comments
Sort by Rating

Create air scan which is opposite of air print, allows docs scanned to be sent to iphone over air...

No mention to Adobe Flash? anybody can understand that the writer didn't try to look the list like real...:)