Human on iPhone crime is out of control. First they were shooting iPhones. Now what? Beating them to death? Once again, I have to believe these iPhones were drugged first, otherwise I’m certain the beatings would have decidedly gone the other way. BAM! Mike Tyson overhand right. POW! Georges St-Pierre tackle. BOOM! Steve Jobs MobileMe-drop for the kill!

Check out Gizmodo for the whole mellow-harshening gallery… if you can stand it.

Cheesy over-branding aside, you gotta be kidding me. That iPhone was clearly drugged first, then tied up. Try that with a fresh, free iPhone, and it would’ve dodged those we-know-what-they’re-overcompensating-for rifle bullets with Matrix-like moves that would have had Neo saying “Whoa!” Then it would be BOOM! Silver-bezel roshambo kick, faux-”hunter” goes down, and POW! multi-touch ground-and-pound! (The iPhone don’t need no stinkin’ guns!)

Remember, kids: Guns can’t kill iPhones. But vidtards with guns can kill our childlike sense of wonder.

(No iPhones — or iPhone Blog Editors — were harmed in the typing of the post)