Fake Steve, the hilarious or hateful (depending on your take, I lean towards the former) blogalter-ego of former Forbes writer, current Newsweek writer retired a while back, only to re-emerge as himself: Real Dan. His debut post? Fake Steve buys an iPhone, gets no respect. (Warning: Real Dan's language is as salty as Fake Steve's ever was, so not for the easily offended).

Finally I traveled out to the horrible Burlington mall where I bought the iPhone and was stopped at the door of the Apple store by an incredibly [redacted]ish Apple “concierge” (that’s Spanish for “smug useless [redacted]head”) who heard me out and then told me, politely, to go [redacted] myself because Apple couldn’t fix the email address on my account. I was like, Dude you’re the retards who typed it in wrong. Shouldn’t you fix it? He told me, again, very politely, to go [redacted] myself. I was like, Dude do you know who I am? I invented Fake Steve. Have you heard of him? He was like, Fake who? What? Huh? He then suggested I go bother the morons at the AT&T store in the same mall. I did, and there I was met by an even more developmentally disabled cretin who said AT&T couldn’t help me either.