iPhone users rocking out to their favorite tunes may damage more than their hearing, if new research published by Greenpeace has any basis in fact. The report claims that iPhone's included headphones contain dangerous levels of toxic chemicals that may be harmful to reproductive organs, or "happy zone" for you boys and girls under the age of twelve.

Senior Scientist at Greenpeace Research Laboratories, Dr. David Santillo, says... "Two of the phthalate plasticisers found at high levels in the headphone cable are classified in Europe as 'toxic to reproduction, category 2' because of their long-recognised ability to interfere with sexual development in mammals. While they are not prohibited in mobile phones, these phthalates are banned from use in all toys or childcare articles sold in Europe. Apple should eliminate the use of these chemicals from its products range.".

Well, I'm convinced. If a left-wing extremist group conducted this research, it MUST be true. Just kidding, Greenpeace, I love you nutjobs. Read the rest of the report and scare the hell out of yourself. Oh, and if you're married and trying to start a family, I'd start shopping for a pair of headphones. Uh huh.

First lead painted children's toys, now this. Could this be part of a Chinese Communist plot to destroy western civilization by stifling our ability to reproduce? I think so.