Everyone, including Steve Jobs, has very reasonable sounding theories as to why the third gen iPod touch camera was removed. Rather than rehash it again, however, we thought we'd let our minds wonder into parody, and consider what might have happened in a world only slightly more cartoonish than ours...

Steve Jobs, fresh from his recent leave of absence, comes crashing back into Apple's Cupertino campus, and after fixing the typography on the iPhone 3G S 3GS, tweaking some pixels on the Snow Leopard icons, and spending time meditating deep in the iTablet vault, he heads over to the scorched closet that used to be reserved for iPhone A2DP testing...

"64GB a go?" he demands. "Good"

"Is it thinner?" grumble. "Next year..."

"What about those ultra-tiny auto-focus 3 megapixel sensors we received?" Massive frown. "They don't work? Not any of them? Then what's this prototype using?"

The room goes dead silent.

"The iPod nano VGA camera? In a premium, flagship product, that runs the iPhone OS and supports gorgeous stills and breathtaking video?"

The silence is broken by the sound of the iPod touch with camera prototype ricochetting off the head of the hapless white-coat who had the temerity to offer it up.

"Yank it, bozos." Jobs strides from the room, Dark Force lightning blistering the air around him. "And let's try to raise the intelligence in this room by next spring, shall we?"

And, boom, no camera, not even a nano-style VGA one in the iPod touch this fall. If that's the case, however, it's hard to argue with Jobs (or whomever made the final decision?) that an iPod touch class device demands an iPhone 3GS, and not iPod nano class camera.

That's not the way Apple plays cricket. They don't do choppy 15-frame a second video on the iPhone 3G, and they won't put a nano camera in the iPod touch.