28 year old Thomas Martel of Bonnie Brae, Colorado, found manipulating his iPhone to be difficult thanks to his big fat thumbs always getting in the way. His options were to upgrade to a device with larger buttons, or chop off his thumbs. The choice was obvious - chop off the thumbs, of course. Well not quite.

Martel underwent a relatively new procedure, called "Whittling", that involves filing down bone and reconstructing muscles and fingertip, creating leaner thumbs that are less bulbous in form.

“From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses. Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it’s saving me in frustration - that’s priceless.”

No, that's crazy. My legs are too long for my car, bunching up under the steering wheel, but I don't plan on having two inches of Femur removed to improve my driving.

Who says technology should adapt to us?

[UPDATE:]North Denver News has posted a clarification/retraction to this story, stating that it clearly was an innocent hoax. Here's a tip...leave the art of parody to the pros, mkay? Thanks.