Folks, I have some news that will come as terrible blow to everyone. Verizon has just introduced what it claims to be a true no shit honest to goodness iPhone killer. Yes, I know... I'm in shock myself. Now, this is no ordinary iPhone killer. No siree, Bob. Nope, this revolutionary new phone from LG, dubbed Voyager, offers a set of features not found on anything else on the market; it has an HTML web browser (yes, real HTML, not that fake HTML found on other fones phones). It plays MP3 and WMA audio. It takes photos. And steal yourselves... it even has a MicroSD slot.

But pick yourselves off the floor for just a minute, because the news gets worse. In light of today's news, Apple released a statement announcing plans to exit the handset business and shut down iPhone production, conceding the market to Verizon's amazing new Voyager phone. Here's the press release...

Team, It is with great sadness that I must inform you that Verizon has upstaged us with the release of a new clone which completely and utterly mops the floor with iPhone. Rather than suffer the humiliation of trying to compete against such a product, I believe it is in the best interest for the company to abandon the phone market, and focus all our efforts on iPods and Mac sales. We had a great run while it lasted, but LG and Verizon have simply kicked our ass. Hope to see you all at the company Christmas party. BYOB. Best, Steve

As a result of today's announcement I will be shutting this site down and starting a new blog; The Verizon iPhone Wannabe Blog. Please visit me there, and thanks for your loyal support.