Humor

Humor: Apple Backlash Date Set

The Onion, one of America's finest satirical newspapers, has a funny article on the impending backlash against Apple. Mark your calendars!

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Time Warner Building iTunes Competitor

Time Warner is building an iTunes competitor. You know, sometimes I get irked when I see websites use the word "competitor" so loosely. The geniuses at Time Warner Cable have had a long time to think about music and they've had a long time to watch Apple's iTunes and mirror its success. So, they've unveiled a service that is:

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AT&T: Zero Criticism Tolerance

AT&T has modified their Terms of Service to bar their customers from griping. Their new terms of service now includes language that states they can terminate your connection for doing things that "tends to damage the name or reputation of AT&T, or its parents, affiliates and subsidiaries." An important distinction: the threat gag is just for the DSL portion of AT&T, aka BellSouth.

I don't expect it to work; actually, I expect it to backfire. Case in point, I'm going to slur the name of AT&T in this very sentence when I would not have otherwise:

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What Hast Thou Done to my iPhone?

I don't know who shares the most blame in this triad of technical blunders; Apple for it's strong arm tactics...iPhone Dev Team for their malfunctioning anySIM unlock app...Or myself for ever engaging in this exercise. A pragmatist would say I am solely to blame, but I am anything but pragmatic.

Nope, I blame the aforementioned parties for this debacle. I was merely innocent bystander. Right? crickets chirping in the background

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iPhone's Java Omission a Mistake?

Bob Brewin, distinguished engineer at Sun, had this to say about the omission of Java on the iPhone:

"I think it's a mistake. I think it would provide a lot more flexibility in applications being developed."
Film at 11. In other news, the Kool-Aid man thinks you don't drink enough Kool-Aid. Oh yeah!

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Bill Maher Calls Me a Dipshit, and a Virgin. There Goes my Self-esteem

Well known comedian, and marijuana advocate, Bill Maher humiliates iPhone fanboys still rabid over iPhone's $200 price cut. Maher goes on to call angry early adopters "dipshits" for having stood in line for a hours to buy a phone, and tells us to stop our bitching. His commentary is delightful and insulting, as always.

Sorry, Bill. I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome my iPhone is.

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Interview: My One on One Interview with Fake Ed Colligan, Palm CEO

In a rare candid interview, we sat down with Fake Ed Colligan, chief executive officer of Palm Computing. Ed graciously agreed to a conversation with us to discuss a number of relevant issues including Palm's troubled past and market missteps in the handset industry. So let's get to it.

TIB: Ed, first off I want to thank you for taking time out from your schedule to speak with us. I'm sure you're a very busy guy these days, what with the board transition, the Elevation Partners deal, and shareholder approval.

Ed: Oh, not all. My pleasure. In fact I'm really not that busy these days.

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Kidnapping and Extortion: The True Motivation Behind Apple's Decision to Offer iPhone Rebates, Nyuk Nyuk

Something to lighten your dreary Monday morning, perhaps? A geek comic strip called HijinksEnsue has posted its hardy har har take on Apple's abrupt decision to recompense iPhone users with Apple Store credits, or whatever they're doling out to us.

Click to laugh, or roll your eyes.

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Satirical iPhone Wallpapers Prove Painfully Accurate

Josh Helfferich created a whimsical set of six satirical iPhone wallpapers to remind us all of the pitfalls of owning an iPhone. His first creation, titled "Attracting total strangers", strikes close to home for me. I can't use my iPhone in public without drawing immediate attention to myself.

Initially the allure was charming, but now I've grown so weary of attracting gawkers - strangers accosting me with stupid questions, asking me to demo features and functionality. I'm thinking of printing an FAQ card to hold up each time someone approaches me.

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iCheaters: Man Sells Cheating Girlfriend's iPhone on Craigslist

Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy buys girl iPhone to express his love. Girl cheats on boy. Boy sells cheating girl's iPhone on Craigslist.

I love a happy ending.

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