Humor

What Hast Thou Done to my iPhone?

By admin#IM, Thursday, Sep 27, 2007 a 4:47 pm

I don't know who shares the most blame in this triad of technical blunders; Apple for it's strong arm tactics...iPhone Dev Team for their malfunctioning anySIM unlock app...Or myself for ever engaging in this exercise. A pragmatist would say I am solely to blame, but I am anything but pragmatic.

Nope, I blame the aforementioned parties for this debacle. I was merely innocent bystander. Right? crickets chirping in the background

iPhone's Java Omission a Mistake?

By Mike Overbo, Thursday, Sep 27, 2007 a 11:10 am

Bob Brewin, distinguished engineer at Sun, had this to say about the omission of Java on the iPhone:

"I think it's a mistake. I think it would provide a lot more flexibility in applications being developed."

Film at 11. In other news, the Kool-Aid man thinks you don't drink enough Kool-Aid. Oh yeah!

Bill Maher Calls Me a Dipshit, and a Virgin. There Goes my Self-esteem

By admin#IM, Monday, Sep 17, 2007 a 1:08 pm

Well known comedian, and marijuana advocate, Bill Maher humiliates iPhone fanboys still rabid over iPhone's $200 price cut. Maher goes on to call angry early adopters "dipshits" for having stood in line for a hours to buy a phone, and tells us to stop our bitching. His commentary is delightful and insulting, as always.

Sorry, Bill. I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome my iPhone is.

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Interview: My One on One Interview with Fake Ed Colligan, Palm CEO

By admin#IM, Thursday, Sep 13, 2007 a 12:01 am

In a rare candid interview, we sat down with Fake Ed Colligan, chief executive officer of Palm Computing. Ed graciously agreed to a conversation with us to discuss a number of relevant issues including Palm's troubled past and market missteps in the handset industry. So let's get to it.

TIB: Ed, first off I want to thank you for taking time out from your schedule to speak with us. I'm sure you're a very busy guy these days, what with the board transition, the Elevation Partners deal, and shareholder approval.

Ed: Oh, not all. My pleasure. In fact I'm really not that busy these days.

Kidnapping and Extortion: The True Motivation Behind Apple's Decision to Offer iPhone Rebates, Nyuk Nyuk

By admin#IM, Monday, Sep 10, 2007 a 11:25 am

Something to lighten your dreary Monday morning, perhaps? A geek comic strip called HijinksEnsue has posted its hardy har har take on Apple's abrupt decision to recompense iPhone users with Apple Store credits, or whatever they're doling out to us.

Click to laugh, or roll your eyes.

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Satirical iPhone Wallpapers Prove Painfully Accurate

By admin#IM, Wednesday, Aug 29, 2007 a 10:45 am

Josh Helfferich created a whimsical set of six satirical iPhone wallpapers to remind us all of the pitfalls of owning an iPhone. His first creation, titled "Attracting total strangers", strikes close to home for me. I can't use my iPhone in public without drawing immediate attention to myself.

Initially the allure was charming, but now I've grown so weary of attracting gawkers - strangers accosting me with stupid questions, asking me to demo features and functionality. I'm thinking of printing an FAQ card to hold up each time someone approaches me.

Yes, it is an iPhone

iCheaters: Man Sells Cheating Girlfriend's iPhone on Craigslist

By admin#IM, Monday, Aug 27, 2007 a 10:15 am

Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy buys girl iPhone to express his love. Girl cheats on boy. Boy sells cheating girl's iPhone on Craigslist.

I love a happy ending.

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ZunePhone Parody Lampoons Microsoft, Hits Right Where it Hurts...Below the Belt and Above the Wallet

By admin#IM, Friday, Aug 24, 2007 a 9:28 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRKIDdIaFyE[/youtube]

Oh snap! This video has all the best qualities of human expression - mockery, sarcasm, ridicule, taunting...reminds me of middle school, minus the bully who stole my lunch money.

Take that, Microsoft...and Greg Johnson! I'll take back all that lunch money you stole from me in $50s and $100s.

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Screen Smudge as Art Form, Express Yourself

By admin#IM, Friday, Aug 24, 2007 a 5:00 am

After hours of active use, your iPhone's screen will become filled with more greasy fingerprints and smudges than the front doors of your local McDonalds. How can you see through all that film? Wipe if off? No, be creative. Express your inner artist. Let your fingers inspire you. Rub your iPhone's slippery glass surface in delicate strokes, forming shapes and contours. Create images and silhouettes from the deposited facial oil. Where others see a smudgy screen, I see the face of a clown.

Now spray Windex onto a sheet of paper towel, lightly dampened. Then clean your filthy screen, and get back to work. Stop wasting time.

Now Playing: iPhone Crushed by Reclining Theater Chair

By admin#IM, Thursday, Aug 23, 2007 a 9:52 am

Nothing could be more relaxing than a luxurious home theater environment, complete with movie theater seating. Just lean back in your comfy reclining chair, and immerse yourself in a great flick brought to life by a huge projection screen. Pure ecstasy.

That is until you are ripped back into reality by the unmistakable sound of your iPhone being crushed by the very chair you are sitting in, like the jaws of a giant can crusher. Unlike the movie you were watching, this story doesn't have a happy ending.

This is precisely what happened to one person, who posted his experience (complete with photos) on Flickr. Here's the story...