[Jobs help us, we're making this an official Wait-a-Thon post! Leave a comment here for you chance to win a $100 iTunes Gift Card! In the meantime, congrats to last week's winner, Dyvim!]

Not evil twin to Phone Different Week in Review, not an invasion by Fake Steve, This Week in Smart Phone Schadenfreude brings you all the feel-better news you need about the smartphone world outside Apple's current media dominator. (Who knew there was such a world? We were just as surprised! Inelegant, interface challenged, keyboardy, crashy, single-touchy place -- best not to linger...). Join us as we mock review the big news from last week at our sister sites. Everybody loves sibling rivalry!

RIM/Blackberry Outages Outage

Last week Crackberry.com let slip that RIM had gone so far as to begin scheduling their own network outages. Not merely content to follow trends, however, RIM has now one-upped themselves again and, apparently, scheduled an outage for their outage!

You heard right! The once on off is off again! No word yet on when exactly the outage will be rescheduled, though smart money is on a date to be surprised by later!

Waterloo, Start Your Photocopiers!

Two years ago at WWDC we thought we'd poke a little bit of fun at the folks in... Oops, sorry, wrong copycats. This time it's the fine folks at RIM who've toiled away for hours to ensure that no Blackberry owner will ever again mistake their device for a Palm. How? By making their latest model a form-factored photocopy of the iPhone! Glossy black frontage? Check. Rounded chrome edge? Double check. 3.5" gorgeous media wide-screen? D'oh! 'Fraid not. You still get a tic-tactile hard keyboard to burn 90% of your useful face-matter!

Sincerest flattery aside, nothing says market-leader like dressing up in last year's competitive dress...

WinMob Treo 800 to Rock... 6.0?!

What's better than outdated hardware running the latest version of Window's outdated mobile operating system, 6.1? You guessed it, patched-up hardware running the already obsoleted version of Windows, 6.0! WMExperts.com is kind enough to report Sprint's July roadmap, touting the Stockholm-syndrome supporting release in all it's antiquated glory.

But don't give up all hope, there's still VistaMob 7.0 on the horizon, and given Microsoft's current schedule, the 2007-era OS should hit beta by 2011, RTM by 2015, and be almost usable by SP1 in 2017, just in time to magically pair with the much-delayed Surface! (Warning, link contains harsh language).

Palm Reports Lack of Financial Results

Speaking of Palm, er... is anyone still speaking of Palm? Ed Colligan, we guess, who according to TreoCentral.com, busted out a shiny pink Centro worth of financial woes this week. Sales up but revenue down? Jaysus, that'll harshen Bono's elevated partnership's mellow right quick now, won't it?

But with Rubenstein, Bell, and Fox freshly pilfered from high-margin Apple, that's a trend that will hopefully level out around 2010 when Palm's 2005 OS, Nova, and astounding new form factors (can you say "clam shell!), finally ship!

And in No Other News

Yeah, we still can't speak Norfinwedish (Nokian?) and we're still not paying any attention to other smart phones, if there are any (we're not even sure). Heck, an entire major mobile manufacturer could be ripping itself in half right this very minute and we wouldn't have a clue. Seriously.