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Not evil twin to Phone Different Week in Review, not an invasion by Fake Steve, This Week in Smart Phone Schadenfreude brings you all the feel-better news you need about the smartphone world outside Apple's current media dominator. (Who knew there was such a world? We were just as surprised! Inelegant, interface challenged, keyboardy, crashy, single-touchy place -- best not to linger...). Join us as we mock review the big news from last week at our sister sites. Everybody loves sibling rivalry!

Outages Online

CrackBerry.com's near-constant updates on Blackberry outages not enough for you? Need the latest, greatest, up-to-date-est news on RIM's downtime in near real-time? Well, apparently so does the guy behind DataOutages.com. (Yes, we realize the domain name doesn't explicitly convey that the site tracks RIM/Blackberry outages, but it's with extra special schadenfreude we point out there really isn't any other kind, b'okay?)

Amazon Pays People to Order Blackberries

We knew the mindset was shifting to Apple, the cool kids were all Cupertino-bound, the status simple was no longer cheap-plastic black but aircraft-grade aluminum, but -- wow...

According to Crackberry.com, Amazon was actually paying people to take Blackberries off their hands last week. You read right. $75 big reasons to stick yourself with a tiny screen, tic-tactile keyboard, and all the outages you can eat.

Yeah, still too expensive for us as well...

India or Indiana?

No update on the great Indian crackberry crackdown this week, but in related news American GSM RIM-bounds have discovered their MyCingular.BlackBerry.net email is now being blocked -- nay, permanently disabled -- as well. Crackberry.com claims it's some pre-announced corporate branding transition thingy-thangy. Sure. C'mon. Like they couldn't try to come up with an even somewhat believable cover story?

Someone steals the White House Blackberry recycling box the very same week and we're supposed to just accept it's a coincidence? (Good thing they'd already switched to iPhones. Yeesh...)

Balmer: Can Has Moto Q for $99?

Yes you can, and I'll cede the soap-box for a moment so John Gruber can tell you how that works out:

Motorola’s quarterly results: 27.4 million phones sold and $7.45 billion in revenue. But the bottom line? A $194 million loss. What matters is profit; market share and revenue only matter insofar as they lead to making money. Motorola sold 16 times more phones than Apple for at least 8 times more revenue — but is there a person on the planet who would trade Apple’s phone business for Motorola’s?

Epic failure there, Steve. No achievement points for you. What? You've got the RROD anyway?

Karma.

Hit up WMExperts.com for the grisly details...

Palm Dumping Unlocked 750s?

Massive markdowns on the ancient handset, at least according to TreoCentral.com. Will that help? Probably not. They need to take a page from RIM's book and start paying people to order them? $1000 a pop sound about right?

Treo Tips and Sightings

Brian has branched out his excellent Tips column to TreoCentral, with a handy, dandy gem for contact lookups. By accident, however, he seems to have included screenshots from the 1999 vintage Palm V PDA's app instead of the latest, greatest Treo 2008 version. The 2-bit, non anti-aliased interface is a dead give a--

What? Those are screenshots of the latest, greatest Treo?

Gulp! Moving on...

Seems Jennifer found Treo's showing up all over TV. At first I thought that, what with the writer's strike and all, the networks were so desperate to fill slots they used stuff from the History Channel. Turns out they were new episodes. For something called "Ugly Betty".

Harsh.

And in No Other News

Our Norfinwedish friends over at Nokia may have convinced Sony BMG to join Universal Music in offering the "unlimited" Comes-With-Music-And-Hefty-Price-Bump market-fart. Maybe. It's been delayed until mid-2008, probably to get the DRM working extra-poorly. At least that's all Engadget can Google-translate for now. No doubt they're preoccupied getting a post ready for when the service goes bye-bye, the DRM locks down, and everyone's stuck with "unlimited" Can't-Be-Authorized-Again-Silence...

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