Big ladies of Zelda that rival the Tall Vampire Lady
After the Resident Evil Village showcase a few weeks back, people lost their collective minds. Not just because the next entry in the long-running horror series looks fantastic, but because of one looming, and very tall threat. That's because the "Big Vampire Lady," Lady Dimitrescu, took the internet by storm, as thousands thirsted over the sexy gothic vampire Amazon.
While we here at iMore love a giant woman when we see one, we couldn't help but think of all the giant ladies of the Zelda franchise. As the series celebrates its 35th anniversary this year, we thought we'd take a moment and look back at all the big ladies of Zelda that could give the Resident Evil's big vampire lady a run for her money.
Ladies of Zelda that rival Lady Dimitrescu: Urbosa
When thinking about some of the tallest women in Zelda history, it's hard not to immediately think of Urbosa, the Gerudo Champion who first made her appearance in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Urbosa is as beautiful as she is tall, and her canonical height places her somewhere in the ballpark of 6'7 feet, easily towering over Link and Zelda. Couple that with her muscular build, and you'll quickly see why she's the leader of the whole damn tribe.
The Gerudo tribe are known for being cunning thieves and fierce warriors, and their race consists of mostly females. However, the tribe is also responsible for occasionally giving birth to Ganondorf, but sometimes we have to take the good with the unstoppable evil, right?
In the latest Zelda entry, almost all of the Gerudo are giants. One Gerudo even claims to be 8 ft tall. While not as tall as the big vampire lady, the Gerudo are nothing to scoff at.
Ladies of Zelda that rival Lady Dimitrescu: Telma
An oft-forgotten big lady of Zelda is Telma, the bar owner and resistance leader found in Twilight Princess' Kakariko Village. Telma is a voluptuous woman with a flirtatious personality, and definitely leaves Link hot and bothered on more than one occasion. While she comes equipped with ballistics that rival Lady Dimitrescu, she's not as tall as the vampire lady.
What she lacks in heigh, she makes up for in her larger than life appearance and leadership. As a leader of the resistance dedicated to restoring Hyrule to its former glory, she rallies several Hyrulean soldiers and well as makes her bar a base camp for planning and executing dangerous missions. Telma is not royalty or have any powers, but her extraordinary leadership and bravery makes her worthy of a spot on our list.
Ladies of Zelda that rival Lady Dimitrescu: The Great Fairy
While the big vampire Lady Dimitrescu might be the tallest lady in Resident Evil lore, her 9'6 frame is nothing compared to the Great Fairies found across The Legend of Zelda series. Bearers of powerful magic, the Great Fairies often gift Link with magical tools to help him on his quest. While the fairies have made their appearance in multiple Zelda entries, their depictions are often the same — giant 30 foot giggling women who smother Link.
In Ocarina of Time, The Great Fairy is wonderfully huge and dwarfs our tiny Hylian hero. I mean, can Lady Dimitrescu put you in a bottle and carry you in her hand? No, but the Great Fairy can! Just play Hyrule Warriors Definitive Edition to find out. In Breath of the Wild, we don't even see the big lady outside of her flower bud. Who knows how big she can be?!
Ladies of Zelda that rival Lady Dimitrescu: Princess Midna
When we're introduced to Midna in Twilight Princess, she's just an imp, using Link in his Wolf Form while he's trapped in the Twilight Realm. However, we quickly find out that Midna is trying to help, and that she's been betrayed by Zant. With Link's help, Zant is defeated and the curse put upon Midna is lifted and we're greeted with her true form — a beautiful, big lady.
While there's no official height to go by, judging by how tall she is compared to Link, most fans agree that in her true form, Midna easily passes 6 feet. And while we don't get to see her in this form for long, the few fleeting moments shared between Link and Midna are enough to convince me that Midna is a lady worthy of simping.
Ladies of Zelda that rival Lady Dimitrescu: Impa
Across Zelda's history, Impa, the leader of the Sheikah tribe, has been depicted in a few ways – most often as either a withered old lady or a fierce warrior. The latter is what we'll be focusing on, particularly her appearances in Ocarina of Time, Hyrule Warriors, and Skyward Sword, where she is is a warrior more than capable of holding her own.
In Ocarina of Time, she becomes the Sage of Shadows, which automatically makes her a big deal, but physically she's just tall. In Hyrule Warriors, that's taken a step further as she's given a few inches as well as giant boomerang. But we can go bigger, can't we? In Skyward Sword, fans theorize that young Impa hits a very tall 6'6 feet. Truly a sight to behold.
The big ladies of legend
This is important. All of this is important. When we talk about big ladies, we can't forget to include the Legend of Zelda in that conversation. Link is living the life that thirsty gamers have only dreamed of. The Legend of Zelda series has a good track record in introducing female characters that are more than just damsels in distress. There's a reason why Breath of the Wild and Age of Calamity are some of the best games on the Nintendo Switch. While we wait for Breath of the Wild 2, we can only hope that these ladies and more make their way into new games.
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Zackery Cuevas is a writer for Windows Central, Android Central, and iMore. He likes playing video games, talking about video games, writing about video games, and most importantly, complaining about video games. If you're cool, you can follow me on Twitter @Zackzackzackery.