Apple

iPhone Brews Up Anger With Sun Over Java Support

By admin#IM, Thursday, Sep 27, 2007 a 10:18 am

Oh Steve, when will you learn? Your tight fisted control over iPhone's software platform continues to effuse dissent among users. Now even your very own partners are lining up outside your door with torches and pitchforks. This time you've managed to piss off the folks at Sun Microsystems for excluding Java support in iPhone.

Apple Quietly Kills 4GB iPhone Model, Dozens Mourn

By admin#IM, Wednesday, Sep 26, 2007 a 11:21 am

As some of you early risers noticed, Apple's online store was down in the wee morning hours, receiving a slight make over and badly needed paint job. When it went back online one product was conspicuously absent; the 4GB iPhone model. It seems Apple has quietly but publicly executed the iPhone that nobody seemed to want.

This was expected since Jobs slashed the price of the popular 8GB to $399, and made no mention of the 4GB model. So no surprise here. Move along, nothing to see here.

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Phil Schiller Sounds Off on Unlocking, Toes the Party Line

By admin#IM, Tuesday, Sep 25, 2007 a 9:19 am

Apple's number two man, Phill Schiller, speaks out on unlocking and the unforeseen consequences preventing future firmware updates. As you might expect, Schiller's comments are little more than a reiteration of yesterday's press release, scolding users and threatening castration of warranty obligations. His most notable soundbite...

''This has nothing to do with proactively disabling a phone that is unlocked or hacked. It's unfortunate that some of these programs have caused damage to the iPhone software, but Apple cannot be responsible for ... those consequences.''

Translation: "Yeah, see the thing is, AT&T is really riding our ass to do something about all the iPhone unlocking going on. So we're issuing a press release to put the fear of ~~Jobs~~ God into users."

Breaking: Apple Drops the Hammer on Unlockers

By admin#IM, Monday, Sep 24, 2007 a 4:52 pm

Bad news, kiddies. Steve thinks we're having too much fun with his expensive toy, and henceforth has abolished the practice of iPhone unlocking. Stop it. Just stop. You know it's wrong, and puts wrinkles in Steve's mock turtlenecks. This bombshell was just dropped from the belly of the mothership...

Apple Set to Double iPhone Production, as Nokia and Motorola Look On in Horror

By admin#IM, Thursday, Sep 20, 2007 a 11:28 am

As if Nokia, Motorola, et. al., didn't already have reason to shit themselves. Today's news from The Street will have CEOs at every major handset maker pouring glasses of Pepto-Bismol and reading motivational posters. Senior Writer Scott Moritz reports that Apple will boost iPhone production for the fourth quarter to 2.7 Million units, nearly double original projections. Apparently Apple anticipates some kind of spike in demand in Q4.

Hey, you don't suppose the recent price drop had something to do with this, do you? Nah, purely coincidental.

iPhone Über Alles! Apple Rolls Out the Barrel in Deutschland

By admin#IM, Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 a 10:25 am

T-Mobile customers in Germany are waltzing in the streets today. Earlier this morning Steve Jobs announced an exclusive partnership with Deutsch Telekom (T-Mobile), bringing iPhone to Germany starting November 9. Pricing is set at €399, but one of my readers in Germany, Jonathan Marcialis, sent news (with photo) that several shops in Germany are already advertising iPhone now for €899 ($1,200). Mein Gott!

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Apple Launches iPhone on UK's O2 Network, Sorry Limeys...no 3G

By admin#IM, Tuesday, Sep 18, 2007 a 9:20 am

Bloody hell! Steve Jobs took the stage early this morning, I mean REAL early for those living on this side of the international dateline. As expected he finally pulled back the kimono on the Eurorpean iPhone model. The big surprise? It's not 3G! EDGE only. Didn't see that coming, especially when considering the fact that 3G is far more ubiquitous in the UK and European markets. In fact, less than one quarter of O2 customers are on EDGE. Blimey!

Other news to come out of this event; the UK iPhone will land on November 9. Apple will launch it's iTunes WiFi store later this month and preload the software on iPhone shortly thereafter. Realy quite a non-event, what? Quite.

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iPhone Update Coming Soon? My Tipster Says...Uh Huh!

By admin#IM, Monday, Sep 17, 2007 a 2:12 pm

Hey, check this out. I heard from a guy who knows an Apple employee that heard a rumor from Steve Jobs's cleaning woman, that Apple is planning to rollout a big ass iPhone update (version 1.1) as soon as later today or tomorrow. What's in this update, you ask? Don't know. All I do know is that it has something to do with bringing iPod Touch features like iTunes WiFi Store and that Starbucks thingy to iPhone. But word is that bugfixes galore are also in store.

Be still, my heart.

Mein Gott! Deutsche Telekom Signs Exclusive Agreement with Apple - iPhone Kommen to Germany!

By admin#IM, Friday, Sep 14, 2007 a 2:58 pm

Reuters reports that German mobile operator Deutsche Telekom has signed an exclusive agreement with Apple, bringing iPhone to the land of bier and lederhosen. The terms of the deal remain undisclosed, but according to one source an announcement from both sides will come as early as next week.

Neither company is offering comments at this time, but when asked by reporters whether a partnership had been reached, a press agent for T-Mobile clicked his heals together, raised one arm in solute, and shouted "Jawohl!".

So there you have it. Willkommen zur Partei, Deutschland!

Apple Makes Good on Promise, Begins Offering $100 Store Credit to Early Adopters

By admin#IM, Friday, Sep 14, 2007 a 1:51 pm

Oh cheer up, guys. Sure it's only $100...but think of all the wondrous things you do with that trifling sum. Why, you can buy half an iPod. Or .0000001% of a MacBook Pro. Or a king's ransom in iTunes music. Har har.

Seriously though, I know this offer won't pacify all of my outspoken readers, but it's something anyway. Take the money, use it to buy yourself something nice, like an iPod or MacBook. Life is too short to fret over money. Go enjoy yourself, and have a nice weekend!

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