Apple Headquarters. The near future. tim! tim! terrible news! oh no! did we sell too many iphones again? worse! ipad sales are down. oh no! are ipads only the first-most popular tablet in the world? it seems people are using them longer than we expected. phil, you fool! did you forget to add the magic slow-down code to ios 10? ill add it to the next update with the battery life sucks now feature. bah! this quarter will only be a little bit record-breaking!

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