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Breaking: Apple Announces iPhone SDK, Opens Platform for Software Developers! *faints*

Charge the defibrillators, my heart just stopped. None other than Steve Jobs himself has officially announced that Apple will indeed open iPhone to native software development, and provide an SDK next February. Apparently plans were in the works to open the platform to developers all along (told you so) but Apple still hasn't figured a non-invasive procedure for allowing applications to run in OSX.

So, the good news is there is a God. The bad news is it's Steve Jobs.

Read his excellency's blessed scrawl after the break. Or go here to see the official announcement on Apple.com

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People's Court: AT&T Employee Scams Money from iPhone Buyers, or Guy Gets Screwed By Co-Worker?

One of my readers sent me the following story. You be the judge as to the true guilty party.

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Apple's Response to Eco Claims

Apple's response to Greenpeace's report of PVC, phthalates, and BFRs in the iPhone is short and sweet. Witness the words of the Apple spokesperson as told to MacWorld:

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AnySIM Updated to Work with 1.1.1

Apple Confirms Orange for iPhone

Apple finally confirmed that Orange would be the carrier for the iPhone in France. The iPhone will be sold on Orange's website and in Orange's retail stores for €399, which is around $566 American. Information on plans has not yet been determined or revealed. They did set an official date, however: November 29th. It is widely expected that the iPhone will retail for a higher price if sold without a contract as required by French law.

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The Money Trail: iPhone Sales and AT&T Kickbacks Drive Profitable Fourth Quarter for Apple

Apple's fiscal fourth quarter ended in September, and the bean counters in every investment firm are hard at work following the money trail, speculating on Apple's quarterly results. Bear Stearn analyst Andrew Neff, the man most well known for his crazy but prophetic predictions about the implosion and consolidation of the PC industry, believes that iPhone could be the start of something big. He tells investors that while deferred profit sharing with AT&T won't have an immediate impact on Apple's bottom line, he sees iPhone being a money machine, driving profits. Doesn't it warm your heart to read those words?

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iPhone SDK Cometh, So Sayeth BusinessWeek. Developers Cheer and Sing Sea Shanties

iPhone users may experience sudden loss of bladder control in early January. According to sources quoted by BusinessWeek, who are close to the companies plans - sorry BW, the janitorial staff do not count as sources - Apple plans to deliver an SDK at MacWorld, finally opening the platform to software developers. No more of that freakshow hackware stuff, alright?

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Mon Dieu! Invasion de l'iPhone! Orange Scores Exclusive Deal with Apple

Bonjour! My name is Jacques. On behalf of the people of France I would just like to say Merci to you Americans for exporting the Suprême iPhone. We French are quite accustomed to pinching and making gestures with our fingers, so the iPhone will be as second nature to us, oui? However, our country already has too many elitist assholes, so you may keep Steve Jobs. Just give us the iPhone and we can forget the unpaid loans you still owe us from the American Revolution. Did you swine think we had forgotten that our King Louis financed your war of independence, and allowed your con man, Benjamin Franklin, to rob our national treasury! Give us iPhone, and we give your freedom... and I don't mean fries, mon ami.

Read les press release after les break.

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Leopard's 300 New Features

I've said it before, but the iPhone and Leopard were supposed to come out together. That's why we have functionality orphans like Mail and Notes.

Well, Apple has a page up with 300 of the new features coming with Leopard on October 26. There are a few of note, one of which was noticed at jkOnTheRun:

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Apple Sued, Again