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Phil Schiller Sounds Off on Unlocking, Toes the Party Line

Apple's number two man, Phill Schiller, speaks out on unlocking and the unforeseen consequences preventing future firmware updates. As you might expect, Schiller's comments are little more than a reiteration of yesterday's press release, scolding users and threatening castration of warranty obligations. His most notable soundbite...

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Breaking: Apple Drops the Hammer on Unlockers

Bad news, kiddies. Steve thinks we're having too much fun with his expensive toy, and henceforth has abolished the practice of iPhone unlocking. Stop it. Just stop. You know it's wrong, and puts wrinkles in Steve's mock turtlenecks. This bombshell was just dropped from the belly of the mothership...

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Apple Set to Double iPhone Production, as Nokia and Motorola Look On in Horror

As if Nokia, Motorola, et. al., didn't already have reason to shit themselves. Today's news from The Street will have CEOs at every major handset maker pouring glasses of Pepto-Bismol and reading motivational posters. Senior Writer Scott Moritz reports that Apple will boost iPhone production for the fourth quarter to 2.7 Million units, nearly double original projections. Apparently Apple anticipates some kind of spike in demand in Q4.

Hey, you don't suppose the recent price drop had something to do with this, do you? Nah, purely coincidental.

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Four New SummerBoard Themes to Pretty Up Your Home Screen

SummerBoard users may want to fire up Installer.app. Four new themes are now available for download; Oren, Phiberglass, JrWallace, and two variations of Tiger. Oren stands out as best theme, in my opinion. It gives your home screen a purple-hued "Fo' Shizzle" look that speaks taste.

Nothing too dramatic, but who doesn't love freebies.

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iPhone Now Works in the Ultimate of all Roaming Areas, Your Erogenous Zones. Cigarette Not Included

See folks, this is why Apple locks out third party software development - using Steve Jobs's products as adult sex toys is naughty, and voids your warranty.

An app called iBrate (cute name) turns your iPhone into a $600 $400 vibrator, the only device in the world that can make phone calls and orgasms at the same time. So, guys, the next time you call your gal and she sounds somewhat far away, with a suspicious buzzing sound in the background, you'll know that iPhone is the man you aren't.

To download iBrate, you will need to be running installer.app with the Community Source package installed. If that's already done you should see it listed.

I wonder if this app really works? Hold my calls.

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Study Says iPhone is the Future of Mobile Computing, and Kitchen Appliances

Oh to be an analyst. I swear if I could have any job in the world that would surely be it - lounge around in a cushy office all day long, putting golf balls into an empty scotch glass, stare out the window, and occassionally publish insanely self evident studies about market directions and product trends.

Take this latest piece of work by ABI Research, for example. These jokers have determined that iPhone offers a glimpse of things to come for mobile internet devices. They see portable devices one day being used for such things as web browsing, text messaging, music playback, even capturing photos and video. My God, it's like they have a crystal ball or something!

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iPhone Über Alles! Apple Rolls Out the Barrel in Deutschland

T-Mobile customers in Germany are waltzing in the streets today. Earlier this morning Steve Jobs announced an exclusive partnership with Deutsch Telekom (T-Mobile), bringing iPhone to Germany starting November 9. Pricing is set at €399, but one of my readers in Germany, Jonathan Marcialis, sent news (with photo) that several shops in Germany are already advertising iPhone now for €899 ($1,200). Mein Gott!

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Apple Launches iPhone on UK's O2 Network, Sorry Limeys...no 3G

Bloody hell! Steve Jobs took the stage early this morning, I mean REAL early for those living on this side of the international dateline. As expected he finally pulled back the kimono on the Eurorpean iPhone model. The big surprise? It's not 3G! EDGE only. Didn't see that coming, especially when considering the fact that 3G is far more ubiquitous in the UK and European markets. In fact, less than one quarter of O2 customers are on EDGE. Blimey!

Other news to come out of this event; the UK iPhone will land on November 9. Apple will launch it's iTunes WiFi store later this month and preload the software on iPhone shortly thereafter. Realy quite a non-event, what? Quite.

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iPhone Update Coming Soon? My Tipster Says...Uh Huh!

Hey, check this out. I heard from a guy who knows an Apple employee that heard a rumor from Steve Jobs's cleaning woman, that Apple is planning to rollout a big ass iPhone update (version 1.1) as soon as later today or tomorrow. What's in this update, you ask? Don't know. All I do know is that it has something to do with bringing iPod Touch features like iTunes WiFi Store and that Starbucks thingy to iPhone. But word is that bugfixes galore are also in store.

Be still, my heart.

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AT&T Continues Billing Reign of Terror, I Can't Takes No More!

What is up with you, AT&T? Seriously, are you singling me out for some reason? Am I a special needs case? Didn't you announce to myself and the rest of the world that you would put an end to unnecessary paper carnage for iPhone data billing? More importantly, didn't I already disable printed invoicing in my account profile...months ago? So why do you do me like this?

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