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Man Undergoes Surgery to Better Manipulate His iPhone

iphone-thumb-surgery.jpg

28 year old Thomas Martel of Bonnie Brae, Colorado, found manipulating his iPhone to be difficult thanks to his big fat thumbs always getting in the way. His options were to upgrade to a device with larger buttons, or chop off his thumbs. The choice was obvious - chop off the thumbs, of course. Well not quite.

Martel underwent a relatively new procedure, called "Whittling", that involves filing down bone and reconstructing muscles and fingertip, creating leaner thumbs that are less bulbous in form.

“From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses. Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it’s saving me in frustration - that’s priceless.”

No, that's crazy. My legs are too long for my car, bunching up under the steering wheel, but I don't plan on having two inches of Femur removed to improve my driving.

Who says technology should adapt to us?

[UPDATE:]North Denver News has posted a clarification/retraction to this story, stating that it clearly was an innocent hoax. Here's a tip...leave the art of parody to the pros, mkay? Thanks.

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There are 8 comments. Add yours.

Femme says:

Ok, I can't figure out if this is real or not. I googled the doctor and couldn't find him mentioned anywhere. Or the guy. It sounds like something that a doctor shouldn't do...

admin#IM says:

The validity of this story is questionable, but everyone seems to be linking to it for sheer entertainment value, if for no other reason. So we all go down together it proves to be a hoax.

Shashwat Parhi says:

Now, that's something any true believer of the iPhone ought to be doing. Right? How much of ourselves are we prepared to sacrifice to be a part of the NEXT BIG THING? :)
True or not, it's the craziest thing I have heard of, of late. Will keep me entertained for days to come. Thanks.

Brian says:

I'm calling BS on this one, unless The Onion was the source. The doc nor the "journalist" come up in a google search.

jose says:

....IF THE SCREEN IS SUCH A PROBLEM...ANYONE WHO HAS THAT SAME PROBLEM SHOULD CONTACT APPLE AND HAVE THEM DEVELOP TWO LINES OF I-PHONES...ONE EDITION AS THEY PRESENTLY ARE...AND THE SECOND EDITION WITH THE OPTION TO HAVE A BIGGER SCREEN. SOUNDS LIKE A BETTER CHOICE TO PAY JUST A LITTLE EXTRA FOR A BIGGER SCREEN THAT IS EASY/CONVENIENT FOR PEOPLE WITH BIG FINGERS...THAN TO UNDERGO AN EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!! SURGERY.
I CAN'T BELEIVE APPLE DIDN'T THINK OF THAT EARLIER.
***IT'S THE BEST LOGICAL ANSWER TO THIS ISSUE FOR PEOPLE.

jose says:

THEIR IS REALLY NO NEED TO MAKE YOUR FINGERS SMALLER...I BET IF ENOUGH PEOPLE COMPLAIN TO APPLE, THEY WILL MAKE THE OPTION AVAILABLE AND BOOM! PROBLEM SOLVED. DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY ON THAT SURGERY, JUST GET A BIGGER SCREEN. DUH!.....

jose says:

...AND WHETHER THE STORY IS REAL OR NOT....ANYONE WHO DOES GO UNDER THAT SURGERY...IS REALLY JUST IN NEED OF ATTENTION...